Greetings from Seattle



Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Broken

Sometimes what is broken cannot be mended.  Sometimes what is lost can not be found again.  Sometimes what is ended is final.  So it can be with love once felt, and marriage once committed to.

Corey left his family this week.  On Monday he packed his cameras and his computers and his clothes into his car and headed back to Colorado.  There he will resume his old life, his old job with the county sheriff's department.  For now he will live with his father.  

Why?  This kind of broken is a long process.  Corey was not happy here. That the relationship had faded was becoming obvious, but the sudden announcement that he was leaving was a shocker to everyone.  Just as with his job here, we all had two weeks notice. Yes, he intends to return to visit his children, but the distance is great in miles, and also in emotional damage.  

I'm sure this was not an easy decision for Corey.  He will need the love and support of his family in Colorado.

Jill and the kids went off to school Monday morning, knowing Daddy would be gone when they returned home.  None of them made it through the day, too upset to be anywhere but home comforting each other.  They went home at noon.

Jill and the kids will be all right eventually.  Jill is strong, and has essentially been a single parent much of the time over the last eight years because of work schedules and the move to Seattle.

Now there will be lawyers and hurt feelings and financial stress in this transition time.  There is sadness and a sense of failure, and there will be anger.  We will try not to fix blame.

Jill and the kids have a large, supportive family here.  We will take care of them.

I read a quote over the weekend about mothers: "A mother is only as happy as her least happy child."  We're all a little low on happiness right now.


Update:  Tom and I went to Isaac's baseball game this evening.  Isaac was having fun with his teammates.  Jill was busy being the team scorekeeper.  Irene reports that the school day "was just like any other".  They are back to "normal", and life goes on.

Resilience is a wonderful thing.


22 comments:

  1. I can feel the pain and my thoughts are with all of you. Take care.
    Sylvia

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  2. A very sad time for you all. I am so very sorry that this has happened to such a loving and caring family that you are. My thoughts are with you.

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  3. Oh, so sorry. These things are hard and take time to heal. My thoughts are with you all.

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  4. I am so glad Jill and the kids have you and Tom to depend on for love and encouragement.

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  5. I've had an uneasy feeling about this situation since he went to Collorado to look for a job & then came back to one there. I'm so glad Jill & the kids are already settled near you. It would be worse if she'd had to uproot the kids & herself to move back to Seattle. Bless all of you. I'm glad it didn't happen during the holidays. You will soon be a very busy family involved in summer activities & that will be good.

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  6. it's never easy. glad that Jill and the kids have family for support. I sensed something was not right but at least they tried. The adults will survive and heal, the children are the ones who take time, love and understanding to adjust and move on with their life. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way-been there, done that...

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  7. I am so sorry. An uprooted family is so hard, not only on the adults involved, the kids but also the grands who only want the best for their kids. Everyone through out the family feels the pain.
    Thank goodness for family support. That will get all involved through the pain. My prayers are with you all.

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  8. It is always sad to hear of a split like this and the distance will be added strain, but you are so right about resilience. At least Jill, Isaac, and Irene are where they need to be.
    BTW, my daughter and my two grand children are going through the same thing.

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  9. I also am so sorry to hear this. Fortunately for the kids, they have a strong family bond and will, as you said, bounce back. This happens so often as to be rather commonplace these days, but it doesn't make it hurt any less when it's our own family. Sending you lots of cyber hugs.

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  10. I'm sorry to hear about a family separation. I've had three of these with my family. It hurts for parents and grandparents as well. My best to everybody in this situation.

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  11. Oh dear...as a child of divorce and being divorced myself years ago, it isn't easy...I feel so badly for them all..hugs to you..Michelle

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  12. Oh my goodness... I sure didn't see that coming. I am so very, very sorry. It's always especially better not to fix blame when children are involved. They, more than anyone must feel it wasn't their fault. My heart goes out to you all.

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  13. So sorry. We have been through that and it is so hard for everyone. The good news is that usually it makes people stronger. xoxoxoxo

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  14. I often read your blog and think you have a perfect life, a perfect family...but this sad news shows that all of us face challenges. I'm so sorry for you and the family, but I'm confident that you will all support each other through the changes.

    This was beautifully written.

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  15. I'm sorry to read this sad news Linda. There may be an underlying reason why he took this action. I wonder if that is understood? Sometimes these things can happen because the man loses his self-confidence and respect, and feels that he has no value to his family and friends. I trust that all hope for a return to normal again at some time hasn't been abandoned? - Dave

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  16. Sometimes going forward is better than keeping on. I am always so sorry for the children of divorce.:(

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  17. I am so sorry for all involved. Family means so much to us. Good thoughts going to all. MB

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  18. Your ability to give a calm perspective to this life changing event is helpful for all of us, your readers.(as well as your family)!Thank you for sharing this hard story with us, as well as all the gorgeous and inspiring garden photos. Of course, we wish the best for everyone.

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  19. I'm just now reading this. I am so, so sorry. I am heartbroken for all of you. I've been going through this turmoil for several years with one of my daughters. I never write about it because of privacy for her. Divorce takes a toll on all. Thankfully, Jill has a job, a supportive family, and she is obviously strong and resilient. The children will be also. I admire your attitude. Your response will help the children immensely.

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  20. My thoughts are with you all!! Such a sad time.

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