Saturday, April 9, 2011

Time With My Mother

On Thursday and Friday of this week we traveled to Oregon to spend some time with my mother.  I have written of her recently, so some of you know that she is 89 years old, has many physical limitations, is still very sharp mentally, and still lives alone.

Mother fell recently, and was not really hurt, but it was enough to tell us it was time to make the move.  An apartment will be available to her starting May 15th in an assisted living complex about a block from her house.  While none of her children live nearby, she knows lots of people in her small town of Molalla, and probably half of the seniors living in the complex, as well as most of the staff.  She visits there often.  She also has a brother and a sister nearby. 

We took her to see her two room apartment so she could start thinking about what she will take with her.  She is not really ready, and hoped she would be on the waiting list longer, but we know we've waited almost too long.  And no, she would not even consider living with any of her children!  She doesn't want to "be a burden".

And so the process of getting her moved begins.  We'll be sorting long after she has moved out of the house.  While I was there she and I began sorting through stacks of greeting cards for all occasions that she has saved over the years.  We found a few treasures, and it was fun, and occasionally sad.  That's what family histories are like.

My mother's name is Violet, and my love of flowers comes from her.  In her honor today, you get flowers.

We took her to the Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm on Friday.  It was a beautiful day and she could sit in the sun while Tom and I tiptoed through the tulips.

To get tulips in the background, we had to look into the sun, so you get a squinty  photo of Mom and me.

Then we stopped at Al's, a favorite nursery in Woodburn.  Mom sat and enjoyed a cup of coffee while we shopped.

I'm afraid we wore her out.  She was very tired when we left her about 3:30 Friday afternoon, but she had a friend coming to check on her about 5:00, so I felt OK about leaving her.  I called her today, and she's still a little shaky, but she says she had a good time, and it was worth it.

And now we'll take it one day at a time, while also planning ahead for the process of creating a successful move for her.


  1. Great photos, as usual. And how nice that your mom is moving to a place close by where she knows people.

  2. I just think it's so neat that we have mothers with the same name. I think it's amazing that she was living alone at 89. My mother is 81 and could probably manage it, but it would be exceedingly difficult. Sounds like that assisted living complex is a wonderful place and she'll love it.

  3. Beautiful flowers! I am so glad that you are able to help your mother. She definitely needs you. But, isn't assisted living very expensive? It is here in Hawaii. David and I could never afford it.

  4. Keep us posted on the move. I will be thinking about all of you. Even though this kind of move is best for everyone, and you all know that, it usually can't be done without some sadness along the way.

    I've loved your mother ever since your mother's day post about her.

    Wishing the best for all of you.

  5. What a nice outing with your mom. And the flower photos are gorgeous! You did a really nice job with those.

  6. These decisions are so difficult to make for all concerned. I'm glad your mother is accepting the move. My mother will be 95 next year and still lives on her own in Grand Junction which is six hours away from any of her children. She will not even think of moving.

    The tulips are amazing. I would say that this display is nearly as stunning as the one I visited in Holland last spring.

  7. Gorgeous flowers. I'll bet your mom really enjoyed that outing.
    I am not ready for assisted living, but I am determined that my kids should not think that is going to be something I would resist or consider a "step down."

  8. Violet is such a pretty name

    I know the move can be stressful and it's hard to let go of living alone and some things but it is so great that she knows so many people there

    I love the tulips
    and I really love the photo of the the two of you :)

  9. I know moving one's mother out of her own home is extremely painful for everyone involved. I would never want to relive that day, but it had to be done. At least your mother will be among friends in her new home.

    Those flips are just beautiful. I'd love to visit a tulip farm like that. And the columbines!

  10. such beautiful tulip pictures, Linda. I know it must be hard, but I envy you the fact that you still have your mom around. Great picture of the two of you!

  11. what a fun outing with your mom and such gorgeous flowers...that's good she can stay in the same community and have friends and family around.

  12. Oh Linda,
    How precious is your mother...I loved the photo of the two of you. Now about that Columbine...did you see my 'F' for flowers post with my Columbine?
    lovely post and Linda, I do hope your mohter will settle into her new home and feel comfortable in her space.
    Bless you!

  13. How wonderful to still have your mother. I lost mine eight years ago. I was so fortunate to care for both of my parents - with help- in their home. I was blessed to hold their hands at the moment of death. I am haunted by my mother in law's death in September. After signing all of her affairs over to 2 of her children, she was placed in a substandard nursing home and then abandoned by those two children. My husband's hands were legally tied. I see how much you cherish your mother.
    Mary in Missouri

  14. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful -- especially the picture of you and your mom.
    My mom lives in a wonderful community for active seniors. She is 87 and is on the go every day -- sings in three choirs and belongs to all kinds of groups, and can be driven anywhere she wants to go. I hope your mom finds such wealth in her new home.

  15. I'm glad that your Mom is willing even if not happy about it..I hope she makes a good transition to a safer environment....

  16. Such a lovely outing with your mom, Linda, she must have loved seeing all those beautiful flowers.

  17. I love the Tulips, Linda. The Tulips in the Valley here are not blooming yet. It has been to wet and cold---they are late, late, late.

    I am glad you were able to get a place for your Mom so soon. Will she sell her house? It is nice she knows so many people there too.
    My Mother is selling her house in hopes of moving closer to me--maybe LaConner. But her house isn't moving and she loves the Island anyway.

  18. Its obvious you care greatly about your Mom Linda. She is a nice lady and has lived a long life. Lovely tulips and other spring flower photos. I specially liked the aquilegias - Dave

  19. Thats nice you had some time with your mother. The tulips aren't in full bloom in the Skagit Valley yet but will be quite soon. We plan to visit one of the farms then, going early in the morning to avoid the crowds!


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